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June 13th, 2009
06:26 pm - I should have gone with two entries.
Nearly every day I spend some time with two kids. As a rule, the boy gets all snappy and defensive every time I walk into his room. I'm still struggling a bit to form a personal connection with the guy (he thinks he's so tough), but I guess we're progressing in the form of grumpy tolerance. It's something. The girl is a bit easier to interact with, although she can be a stubborn little punk. If she's hungry enough she's quite agreeable. She'll sit patiently, waiting for me to tear off a leg or tidbit of fleshy quail breast. Such moments are the best part of my job.
I work at the university's wildlife pens, and the kids in question are a Spotted/Barred Owl hybrid and a Peregrine Falcon. I am lucky enough to be the primary trainer, although I lack experience training raptors. Working with trained birds on the glove is close enough, I guess. For a while I was making it up as I went along, then mini-freaked out that I might be doing things entirely wrong and perhaps ruining the birds. Excuse me, where is the instruction manual for this owl? But I now have a loaned copy of "Raptors in Captivity," according to which my approach has been pretty much spot-on (at least the bits within my control). Hurrah! It is a relief to read things like 'Some raptors, such as owls, are not food-motivated. When you approach them they're more likely to sit still rather than bate, while exhibiting normal aggressive behaviors such as raising its hackles.' The Sparred does this exactly-- raising his feathers and spreading his wings to look 2-3 times bigger! Training animals is largely common sense, I am told, but it is encouraging to see ones training strategy recorded in a reputable text. Thanks to Sleepless Evil for the recommendation. Slowly, slowly, I will 'man' these birds!... as long as we don't let the peregrine get fat.
Training the sparred owl reminds me of the group trip I took last April and never wrote about (flashback sequence). The goal of the outing was to see the famous, endangered, reclusive Spotted Owl. A caravan of station wagons and SUVs headed up north and traversed down windy gravel roads deep into private timberland. Passing through the patchwork of recently-harvested, growing, and mature stands, our guide stopped us and distributed orange hard hats. A gaggle of hard-hatted, mostly middle-aged birdwatchers tromped down a wooded path... we stopped... and a spotted owl silently swooped in as if she was on an automatic timer. We ooohed. We ahhhed. Cameras appeared and we took many pictures of our wide-eyed, statuesque subject. Her mate entered like a shadow and alit on a nearby branch. More oohing. More ahhhing. More picture-taking.
And now for the main event. Our guide handed one of the participants a stick, then retrieved a white mouse from his magical wooden box with air holes. He placed it on the end of the stick, and now the owls seemed really interested. The female glided down in a perfect quadratic curve and snatched the puzzled rodent. Its hind legs twitched fanatically before she gulped it down headfirst. Tasty. The stick was passed for another to try.
It struck me as supremely odd to be in the middle of the forest, miles away from more humanized areas, feeding wild nocturnal raptors as if we were in a petting zoo. It felt... artificial. The tourists are here, cue the spotties. But it was such marvelous artificial! There were still unexpected surprises, such as the female flashing her brood patch and the male offering a twitching mouse to his mate with timid coos. :D I'm a sentimental sap for such displays in critters, although PDAs in humans make me gag. In short, owls = fun. Owls + lab mice = reliable fun.
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March 28th, 2009
09:18 pm - Poke the science
Last Saturday heralded the end of my behavioral experiments... at least for year one. It ended more with a mumble of victory rather than a shout, as sometimes occurs. The last jay pair I tested were highly suspicious of the raccoon mount I set out. They responded by sitting in a tree during the whole trial, eying me as if to say "Um, would you kindly move that scary thing so I can get to those tasty peanuts kthanx." It was a quiet and polite trial, but still valid data. Hurrah for datums!!! Now I just have to finish entering it and analyzing. Let there be graphs bwa ha ha ha ha can't wait!
Although my experimental trials are done for now, my "field season" is hardly over. The birds are gearing up to start families, and I've had the pleasure of already witnessing some nest building. It is now my duty to monitor the birds during the nesting/chick rearing process. It would be easier if it was an interview:
"Excuse me, sir, have you successfully contributed to the next generation of fluffy blue squawkers or have they been eaten by a cat?"
It is what it is. Guess that makes me... Fluke Jaystalker. But see, since I'm going to be out in the field collecting breeding information, there has to be some sort of observational foraging data I could amass that would contribute to my thesis (daaataaaa...Imean, braaaaaains). Yesterday I saw an impressive thesis defense by another grad, and it made me want to give another tug at the ambition reins. There are so many questions to explore! I can't necessarily come up with essential management implications for the various aspects of my study, but there is science there. I want to poke it.
Other wildlife grads here get to trek the wilds of Alaska or the jungles of Costa Rica. Yet they are envious that I get to ride around town with a taxidermy raccoon clamped to my bicycle. Seriously, it's badass. ...Alternatively, I am an object of departmental ridicule and don't even know it. Meh. They will be the first victims of the Steller's jay uprising.
Have a nice day.
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February 7th, 2009
08:31 pm - Possibly the best week ever*
*"best" being a consistent feeling of wheeeee on a per hour basis and "week" being Jan 6-13.
Day 1
It rained steadily all morning and my birds were not cooperating. Mostly they were wise enough not to mess with mad precipitation, and those out were being odd. MORW snagged a nut and flew off to stash it... then simply didn't come back to participate in the trial. (Incidentally, that was the last time I saw this 11-yr jay; I fear he's since gone to the big feeder in the sky). Any other day such behavior might be frustrating, but I did not care in the least. I had a visitor coming. ^_^ After field work I met PunNinja at the airport and introduced him to the weather... just like Ithaca + 20 deg F. I showed him around the HSU campus; it is a lovely place but very different from Cornell. There are no open sprawling greens or stone fortresses, overall HSU is more concentrated, but between all the buildings are gardens and redwood groves. The concept of food didn't come to mind until very much later in the day, at which point much curry was consumed.
Day 2
Got up decently early to the habitual squawking of my resident Steller's jays, demanding I provide breakfast. I kicked PunNinja awake so he could take pictures of the obliging subjects who swooped in. "How is the lighting? Where do you want the jay? Are you focused? *toss peanut to designated spot* After a morning of jay chasing, I returned home and kicked PunNinja awake so we could fight in the backyard. Hurrah for rapier(aka boken)! Hurrah for dagger(aka wooden cooking spoon)! Later took a walk through some neighborhoods in the hills, admiring the houses surrounded by redwoods and overlooking the canopy of the forest downslope. Real treehouses, these. Rigged up a quiche for dinner, which was supremely delicious. It's so much more fun to cook with someone else!
Day 3
Today's adventure (after the routine jay-chasing) was to the Arcata Marsh. Lots of ducks puddling about the marsh-- Green-winged Tealbutts, Cinnamon Teal (love them!), Wigeon, Gadwall, Mallards, and Coots. We saw more than 20 Black-crowned Night-herons all in a tree. And there were avocets out on the smooth wide mudflat of Arcata Bay, which shone like a mirror. Kinda weird to see mud glisten like that. Vurra yummy falafel for dinner.
Day 4
Growing bolder by the day, we had lofty ambitions to try for Samoa Dunes down at the north spit of Arcata Bay. The buses that go out there are infrequent, and of course I was cutting it close time-wise at the farthest reaches of the study site with a jay who was taking her sweet ol' time with the foraging trial. Amazingly, I met PunNinja at the bus stop in time and we were on our way... if only we knew the right place to get off. >.< But it turned out okay; we got off at the Manila Dunes Park and hung out with Marbled Godwits and a Long-billed Curlew (so very awesome). I like the big hunks of driftwood scattered across beaches around here- cool patterns in the wood and great for clambering. We had brought bikes along for the 5 mile ride down to the dunes at the north spit, but the one we borrowed for PunNinja was a bit small and junky. But it worked, and it was a flat ride. Down at the jetty we watched Great Egrets and Great Blue Herons stalk and snatch tiny fish, got some nice pictures of Red-throated Grebes, and had a pleasant picnic save for the roar of ATVs blasting through the dunes. I think I preferred Manila Dunes, but it was a good ride and a good day.
Oh how I prattle about times gone by.
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December 23rd, 2008
08:38 pm - Bah, humbird
Silver bells, ring-a-ling, here them ring, soon it will be Christmas Day.
... for reals? Despite the efforts of mass commercialism everywhere, I've failed to notice. While most folks have departed for the break, I have made a seamless transition to school and work to fieldwork and work. Mustcollectdatamustcollectdata... I just hope I'm doing an okay job of it. It's really hard to keep experimental conditions similar when the subjects are free-living and free-minded. Tis a good thing I like chasing them around, because that's how I'm spending my Christmas.
I might as well. I can't be home, I can't visit elsewhere, the house here is pretty empty. My mum mailed me a few ornaments (in a box with real peanuts for packing material my mum is so awesome), but I have no tree to put them on. At least in Australia we had that saggy Casuarina tree bedecked with flagging tape and hibiscus flowers. I'm sure I could do something here, but it just seems pointless to wrangle up that level of motivation.
I hear it raining again. So far the weather has been fairly cooperative in the mornings, which is all I care about. Except yesterday, which shifted continuously to rain, hail, sun, rain, sun, sun and hail, etc. Biking in hail is kinda painful.
I'm dreaming of a wet Christmas.
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November 6th, 2008
01:45 am - The cows have sung, the fat lady's come home...
.... but I'm still going to get political. Since I've been meaning to for a loooooong time.
Back when the primaries were still topping the news, I was predicting that Obama would win the nomination but ultimately lose out to McCain. I just figured that when it came down to plain 'ol folks standing alone in the voting booths, they might not be willing to accept such a shift in the status quo. Now I feel a bit of faith in my country restored, and can relish the significance of this event. Not that I wanted Obama to win because of his race. I wanted him to win because he is diplomatic, eloquent, inspiring, (a democrat) oy, it's all been said many times over. Yet when I watched his acceptance speech, standing with his wife and two daughters to the cheers of thousands and thousands... it was race that floored me. Here was a black family unit, and they are going to the White House. It was simply wonderful.
And he mentioned "a planet in peril" in the speech. Hurrah. It's probably just lip service, but I get so tired of politics putting the environment at the bottom of the priority list. If you keep putting the planet last, it isn't going to last... at least not in the way we'd like it to be. *resisting urge to go on eco-rant*
I can hardly believe that a Delawarian is going to be the second in command. We have about four politicians, total (Biden, Carper, Castle, Minner). They sort of play musical chairs with the congressional seats and governor slot. Biden is a character. He's served Delaware well for many years, but I have a feeling there will be more than a few gaffs in the coming years. For now we don't have Palin to absorb media attention like tundra moss.
Yikes, Palin scared me mightily. Much, much more so than McCain. In hindsight it seems clear that she was a poor selection for the role. Serves McCain right, for I found his choice of VP outright insulting. Seriously, how dumb and easily manipulated does he think females are? The votes say loudly that we're not. I just hope she hasn't caused women politicians to lose all the headway that Clinton made. Anyhow, chromosomes aside, some things Palin said just flummoxed me to no end. In practically the same breath she acknowledged that Alaska was one of the areas most threatened by global warming and to provide energy we need to drill, drill, drill. Uh, so 2+2= -10 in Palinland, I guess. Then it hit me that Palin must be part of an Alaskan conspiracy to actually encourage global warming. What's in Alaska now? Snow, soggy moss and death by mosquito. Shift the world's biomes a few latitudes and --- Hello, breadbasket of America!! (Never you mind about the lower 48 or anyone else)
Not that I'm speculating what climate change will do to the world. Hoo boy, the biotic and abiotic interactions and unknown effects are incredibly complex and that's not my expertise. I think that we are seeing massive enviornmental changes. Some species will have the flexibility to adapt, but a lot of them won't be able to. It could place a lot of stress on populations already substantially reduced from habitat loss, invasive species *wait wait stop the eco-rant*
Hurrah for Obama! Even if he can't fix everything. At the very least this is a historic occasion, and for the first time in a while I am distinctly proud to be an American.
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October 5th, 2008
06:30 am - grumble grumble
This morning I get out of bed at 4:30 am. Minimal hauling was involved, because today is the day! The bird-a-thon, in which me and teammates have 24 hours to see as many bird species as we possibly can! I've been looking forward to this since I put my name on the sign-up sheet weeks ago. I'll learn where the local hot spots are, maybe see some new species, and engage in complete nature nerdery. The weather looks promising, Sibley field guide is in my hand, and CDs of Western Birdsongs are in my pack. I bike like mad to get to the rendezvous spot with time to spare. I am quite psyched.
Twenty minutes later without a person in sight and I'm feeling less psyched. Maybe we're meeting later than expected? After some phone calls (and apologies for the time) I get a hold of the team leader. "Oh... yeah. We canceled a few days ago because I was concerned about the weather. I must have copied your phone number down wrong because I haven't been able to reach you."
"oh."
Translation: "What weather issues?! 20% chance of precipitation today! And you know, my email address was also on that sign-up sheet. You couldn't have tried that, lunkhead? How about next time putting your own contact info up there, so I could attempt to confirm the trip beforehand? Fie on you, you tickering bustard."
"I'm really sorry. I'll let you know if we re-schedule."
And that is the end of that. Rather than go home and sleep like a sane person, I decide to check on some jays at the north end of the study site (since I've come this far). Now I'm in the lab, theoretically picking at thesis stuff, waiting for the sun to come up. Maybe I'll take a nap on my lab desk.
What sucks is that I sacrificed a perfectly good Saturday night to get some sleep. This is what happens when you over-anticipate... you get overly-shot-down.
What really sucks is that today was supposed to make up for yesterday, in which I pulled the head off a sick dove. I didn't enjoy that. Cervical dislocation requires more twisting than I expected.
Maybe my bird karma is now out-of-line. *shrug* The dawn will come... eventually.
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September 30th, 2008
12:13 am - Overloaded entry
Roight. I've been putting this off because (as usual) I have far too much I want to document concerning my new life in northern California. But then stuff keeps happening and the backlog increases further. So I'm going to take a breeze through a potential day with the help of my spiffy time-saving, gas-saving bicycle.
Get up, pack up, and zip off into the cool morning. Chances are I'll see a soft fog receding up the forested hills to the east. The ride to campus is a good workout, as I balance my weight over the handlebars on the steeper ascents. A boisterous little friend slices the quiet sky with her purposeful gliding flight and accompanying rattling call. This is when my handsome test subjects, the Steller's Jay, are most active, and I swear some of them already recognize me as a bulbous-headed human with binoculars who comes bearing peanuts. No doubt I will be writing about them a lot in the future; I am already seriously enjoying working with them.
I'll skip the research, classes and work for now... ooh, except today we have lab in the redwood park. There is a redwood park adjacent to campus. Heck, there are redwoods everywhere here, even in the parking lots. The park itself is tranquil and marvelous. Big trees, reeeeeally big stumps. Birding within the woods in near impossible, but beneath the thick bedding of redwood duff there are salamanders! I have had the pleasure of meeting the charismatic Ensatina, the wormy California Slender, and a beautifully-marbled Pacific Giant Salamander. Hurrah for labs that are an excuse to mess around outside.
Class over? I guess I should work on my thesis proposal... but one has to take advantage of the sunny days before the dreaded rainy season settles in. So I'll just head over to Humboldt Bay for a bit. I love the fact that I can go from redwood-covered slopes to salt marsh in an easy bike ride! Down at the marsh are familiar birds from back east like egrets, ducks, and yellowlegs. I've gotten to know some new species, though, such as the abundant Marbled Godwit out probing the water's edge. And I absolutely adore the American Avocet, walking across the glistening mudflats pale, poised, and leggy (like feathered supermodels). The best part is watching them forage-- they swipe their curved bills across the surface of the mud. The sharp, brisk strokes appear to me like an ill-mannered child sweeping aside the pieces of a doomed game of checkers. Enough of avocets, what is over there? River otters!! It's a group of lithe, frolicking otters gnashing down bits of fish flesh. Fantastic.
The sun is getting low, and its time to speed home. I do like riding home in the dark, but it's not the wisest idea. I'm fortunate that I have a downhill trip to coincide with my end-of-day tiredness. As the air whistles by my ears and flaps open my fleece, I feel at peace. Except for the bit of brain shrieking hysterically. I may never again properly enjoy the exhileration of biking down a hill. That's okay, I guess.
Yawn. That means I'm done. Good night, world.
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July 18th, 2008
02:57 pm - Ay Chihuahuan (Desert)
It feels really splendid to be back in Ithaca. There are old comrades, there are swords, and I can even justify my month-long visit thanks to some part-time work. For my whole life I have derived delight from being alive and grand adventures, but this is different. I am finding comfort and happiness in being a human. How peculiar. I intend to make the most of this time while it lasts, so contrasting to the period of desert solitude.
I enjoyed my sojourn to New Mexico. The landscape is so barren, so harsh, but there is an austere beauty to its rolling hills and flatlands. The vegetation is not thick, but it is highly defensive. I did my best to identify plants without normal guides such as flowers and leaves, instead using the size and distribution of thorny projections and how much they hurt when contacting flesh. Examples:
Soaptree Yucca and Creosote Bush = no problem
Pricklypear = prickly big spines meh, brittle hair-like spines worse
Whitethorn Acacia = annoying in large numbers
Tree Cholla = spines hurt going in, hurt more coming out
Lechuguilla = photosynthesizing knives
Honey Mesquite = stout, stiff thorns responsible for the majority of our flat tires
Still, the plants were not usually thick enough to be a huge imposition (although some of the hills were fairly imposing). Not even the flat tires could stop us longer than five minutes. We made 15 tire changes in 2.5 months. The pit crew -I mean field crew- had two trucks, but for a while we were driving just one and swiping the tires off the second as needed. The birding and lizarding was worth it. I got to see a slew of species; I am amazed at the remarkable diversity in such an inhospitable area. Some birds, like Black-headed Grosbeaks, Western Kingbirds, and Scott’s Orioles seemed like variations of eastern counterparts. Others were totally new experiences, like Burrowing Owls, Gambel’s Quail, and of course the Greater Roadrunner. I was a bit reluctant to leave such characters behind, to say nothing of the countless Whiptails, Earless Lizards, and Texas Horned Lizards that skittered across the baked ground.
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July 1st, 2008
03:05 pm - Another one bites the dust
To belabor a previous description, I used the shards of glass to scour the frying pan clean. I yanked the dagger out of my back to slice and dice the cholla cactus for a unique southwestern stir-fry. Still no ideas of what to do with the polar bear fecal matter.
So shortly after I was convinced and committed to Cornell, rather happily, I was presented with an unforeseen complication with the approval of my would-be graduate committee. I discussed my options with my Cornell advisor, who told me frankly I now had no options for Cornell. My longstanding fallback plan fell through. Following this shocking bombshell I scrambled and asked the fellow at Humboldt if the position out there was still available. It was, PHEW, so now I'm going to California. My brain has flipped 180 degrees and convinced myself that this is a better route for me to take. Funny how that works. Although there are some isolated aspects that are sub-optimal, I think things will be okay. Hurrah for supportive friends.
In all my exasperation regarding higher education, I have totally neglected telling tales of my adventures in the southwest. For shame. Yesterday the New Mexico project officially wrapped up. It was an exciting, lively, (really hot) experience. More musings later. The job ended with a three-day drive from southern New Mexico to central Wisconsin. It was remarkable to observe the country's changing landscape-- it went from cows grazing on pale red sun-baked dust to cows grazing in vibrantly green fields occasionally submerged under water. It came out to about 26 hours of driving. Woohoo, I can handle long-distance driving! Uh, under the condition that I can sing and car-dance along to the radio all day long.
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June 1st, 2008
04:13 pm - DEAD END
The rollercoaster has crashed.
The proverbial forest has burned.
I feel like a cast iron frying pan has clonked the back my head, ground glass has been blown in my face, a dagger has been inserted into my vertebral column, and the rug has been yanked out from under me so that I land in a cholla cactus covered in polar bear fecal matter.
I'm probably exaggerating, but still.
I am baffled. I am adrift.
The silver lining -I guess- is that it was out of my control.
I happily whine when I have no real problems. And now.... I just feel defeated.
I will overcome.
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May 22nd, 2008
03:32 pm - Mr. Frost directly applied to my life
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, (actually it was a redwood forest)
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood (five minutes, five months, etc)
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim, (-$ vs +$)
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves (needles) no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. (arg, I will find a way!)
I shall be telling this with a sigh (I hope not, I hope not)
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I *scribblescribble* turned around and went back the way I came.
And that has made all the difference. (...the end?)
So. That's that.
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April 10th, 2008
03:05 am - Inhale... and EXHALE!
This entry has been building for a long time. For starters, I shall reaffirm that I am a pretty chipper person, even in blogworld. The present life is quite awesome. Only a few more days of chasing ducks along the Connecticut shoreline (sniffle), but then it's off to the next adventure... which I am soooo not prepared for. Why not? Largely because of the rollercoaster known as the BATTLE FOR GRAD SCHOOL (with echo effect). I've probably had it easier than many, many people, but it is difficult to try to simultaneously juggle several potential research projects, potential advisors, and wishful-thinking funding. Over the past few months I've felt too overextended to properly focus on a given opportunity, yet I've needed to keep all my options open as things invariably fall through. I was wondering if this is normal fare for aspiring graduate students (and I'm only looking for a masters, sheeeesh) or if my discipline is just weird. So here is a summary of my rollercoaster ride, which I boarded last summer and I'm still stuck in the corkscrews.
Shoot emails to professors all over the country. Get a lot of silence and "sorry, no funding" but a few "you sound cool, we should keep in touch." Endangered prairie chickens in Texas through University of Wisconsin. Invasive frogs in Hawaii through Utah State. Brown Tree Snake control in Guam through Colorado State.
Go work in Ithaca, where my old advisor asks "Want to count birds in Costa Rica?" Hells yeah. Ask a ton of people what they think of returning to the alma mater for a masters. Investigate grants for a project that doesn't officially exist yet. Leave town for next job.
Randomly apply to a position at Central Michigan. Immediately get the offer. "Wow, getting into grad school is easy! I must be pretty cool. I can hold out for something a little better." I turn it down. Frantically apply to Utah, Colorado, Humboldt (California), and Cornell. Realize too late that the system takes time to work its magic. uhhhhhhhh
Write crappy fellowship proposal for Utah. Uh, no. DEAD END.
Learn that Colorado project might have funding issues. Things get very quiet. DEAD END.
Mum asks "What about University of Delaware?" No, sorry mum.
Visit Cornell to cross blades with Ringers new and old. Resume conversation about Costa Rica. Need $$$$ for me. Have an interview for a TAship. Heck, I'll write a grant. See, I'm game! I'm focused! Cornell is awesome!
Work on grant proposal for Costa Rica. Pretty manageable except the bit about how much $$$ I need and what I need it for. A shame that's the important bit. Press blindly onward.
Two emails from profs at Humboldt. Prof 1 says "Lots of projects, shoot me a proposal" Eeek, that's kinda intimidating. Prof 2 says "I have $$$ to chase birds in Jamaica. You seem like a great match. Interested? We'll get back to you next week." Hells yeah. But Cornell? California doesn't have Ringers.
Finish and submit Costa Rica grant proposal. Repeatedly poke advisor for necessary permit/letters. Hello? Apply for Cornell TAship. Agonize on how I will make decision between California and Cornell.
Not selected by Prof 2. Owww, rejection really hurts. No decision needed; pass the tissues. DEAD END.
Very well. Cornell is awesome backup plan! I'm game! I'm focused!
Grant not considered. Permit/Letter from Costa Rica representative never received. DEAD END.
TAship is last hope for Cornell. Can't afford Cornell without being paid.
Email from Humboldt Prof 1. "Still have lots of projects. Let's chat." We talk about California birdies. Nifty ideas abound! Awesome! No $$$$ available yet for a project or my studentness. Decisions for Cornell TAship ($$$$ for studentness) to be made next week.
Write a project proposal for Hum Prof 1.
It's been nearly a year of preparing for graduate school. Despite my experiences, education, and enthusiasm, there is a distinct possibility that I will have nothing, nothing, to show for it. ...what then?
Today I got the offer from Humboldt. WHEEEEEE!!!!...!!!! It's a significant ego-boost. I am elated-- I just checked out a room on Cloud Nine! But I am still left wondering what to do, because I honestly do not know what I want. I guess I'm stalling for one more DEAD END. I want the novelty of a new school and the comfort of the alma mater. I want the convenience of an established study site and the adventure of a foreign country. I do not want hormones to influence my decision, but I don't want to piss them off. I want swords again. I never want to leave Ithaca. I never want to settle down.
Whew.
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March 15th, 2008
09:00 pm - Ashes to ashes, Easter grass embedded in the carpet
Today I talked with my youngest pal on the phone. He's the grandson of my high school drama teacher. He's seven now, which means he was born in a era when his granddad was telling me where to stand on stage. Wow, now I feel old. The kid was of no interest to me back then, but now he's aged enough to be entertaining. My mum seems to have adopted him as a surrogate grandchild... I'm not sure whether this should make me relieved or worried.
Going home to Delaware means revisiting childhood, rather literally. My peers from school have all dispersed, as college and careers do that to people. My remaining friends are the kids I used to sit for. So that is my social scene while at home, "Bye, Mum! I'm going down the street to, um, play." The seven-year-old is amusing, though. He loves to launch himself at me, and I just redirect his energy and flip him (carefully and controlled). He does this tirelessly, with the fanatic energy of a youngster, and is amazed at my strength and fighting prowess. Pshaw.
Today I talked with my youngest pal. I asked him where my mum was taking him hiking later. I asked him about his dog. I asked him about school. I didn't tell him his mother was dead. He didn't know that, yet. It was not my place to say. That news would keep, cold and heavy, until my mum took him home to hear it from his granddad.
I can only imagine what the lad is going through. I have suffered loss, but the circumstances are different. I was in college when dad had his accident. The kid doesn't even know his dad. He has no siblings to find comfort. His grandmother has been in the hospital for years; his aunt and uncle have their own problems. Now his solo parent is gone. His support system is down to him and his grandfather, my old drama teacher who during play rehearsal would swing between stitches of laughter and troubled silence. They must feel so terribly alone. And mum talks about our family being fractured. I am so incredibly lucky to have my mum and brother.
I'll go to the funeral next weekend. I was going home for Easter anyways, that season of rising ghosts and chocolate bunnies. I want to see the wee lad and my great old (bald) drama teacher. I'm not sure what I will say to them. For sure it won't be "I know what you're going through."
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January 30th, 2008
09:52 pm - The seige of 150.294
Long Cove is a happening place. It's wet, it's mucky, it's downright ducky. Several of my radio-toting black ducks hang out there a lot. Until it gets cold enough for Long Cove to freeze over, in which case the birds search for something they can paddle in. Such was the case January 21. No water, no ducks. Except for one it seemed, at the very southern tip of the marsh. I was getting strong signals from frequency 150.294, called Dodger. I was puzzled why I couldn't see her from my lofty vantage point from the ridge. I donned my chest waders for some on-the-ground investigation.
Gawking bystander: You're going in there on your own?
Me: Sure. This is nothing.
Gawking bystander: They don't pay you enough.
Me: Probably not.
Among the iced-over pools, there doesn't seem to be much of a likely place for .294 to hang out... unless she's in the channel, the one place with flowing water. *sneak sneak sneak* Aha! ohwaittheresnothingthere. Just encouraging blips from my receiver and a wall of impenetrable fragmities on the other side of the water. I kill more time in the cove chasing the signal, but eventually have to go look for other birds.
Next day. 150.294 is apparently in the same place. I triangulate the signals and move on. And the next day. And the next. On one occasion I try approaching from the south, whacking through the fragmities a short distance before meeting the channel. I can see that an attempt to cross in my waders would result in a cold soaking. The bird has holed herself up in a castle of frag, complete with the moat. The siege continues.
Yesterday I brought my attack from the west. This is not a covert operation, as I crash through towering stalks of fragmities, inhaling the fluffy seeds of the invasive plant and dragging along my bulky antenna. This is no habitat for a duck. I come to the only logical conclusion: the transmitter has fallen off but the mortality switch is not operating (so it still sounds like a normal signal). Dammit. As I draw steadily closer, I silently bemoan the loss of another duck and that I have spent a week collecting data from a dropped collar or a dead duck. And I anticipate a pain in the arse search for the small black lump in the weedy mess.
A lone duck explodes from the ground a short distance ahead of me. An American Black Duck. With a telltale wire sticking up between her wings, as if she was a bizarre remote-control plaything. I freeze in shock. The invading force of Me has finally forced Dodger out of hiding. Her safe haven is a mere puddle, a tiny gap in the frag fortress. Glory be, the bird lives. For all I know I scared her enough that she'll fly to Massachusetts.
In all truth, this is hardly an epic tale. I was tramping in the marsh for thirty minutes or so. It just had an unexpected yet pleasant ending. Infinitely more annoying are the ones where I drive all over the place and fail to pick up any signal.
Today Long Cove thawed. 150.294, called Dodger, was easily spotted swimming happily with some feathered brethren. It's good to see her being social. We'll see where she turns up tomorrow.
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December 31st, 2007
11:16 pm - Reflections in the eddies
I bid farewell to 2007. It was an exciting year of seemingly perpetual movement. The year began with an eye-popping fireworks display over Sydney Harbor in Australia (followed by a 34-hour long January 1st) and ended with dozing off on an unattractive couch in Connecticut. Still, I really can't complain. This was the first year that has not involved schooling of some sort, although it was not devoid of education. I held four different jobs, taking me to Costa Rica, Wisconsin, Ithaca, and Connecticut. The year has included two trips to Ann Arbor, one to Chicago, and a few passes through Delaware and New York City.
Adaptability has been key, as my living arrangements have varied from a house with no furniture to an entire house packed with the owners' stuff to personal space limited to a lower bunk. I have worked for different faces of conservation: the idealist who dislikes mist-netting because it stresses the birds, the forester who wants to be responsible while making a buck, the game manager who wants to conserve waterfowl so they can be shot. I have learned valuable skills such as stuffing hatchling sea turtles into a duct tape sleeve, picking out the chip note of a field sparrow, gaging where a tree branch becomes three inches wide, and keeping superglue off a duck's back.
In this year I formed close friendships that faded away once the field season ended, and went to odd lengths to keep in touch with established comrades. I found new friends in Ithaca by virtue of taking control of Ring of Steel. WooT for sword folks. I am so pleased we had so many rank advancements this semester (including ROSI's first senior scholar, heehee). Hormones suffered injury, went dormant quite happily, and reactivated without any instruction from higher mental processes. Fascinating little things, but clearly not trustworthy.
So here comes the new year, an arbitrary opportunity for change and renewal. Odd to have it when most things are dead or inactive. Do I have regrets? One for sure, but hopefully I have been forgiven for that. Do I have a plan? Right now my work keeps me quite occupied... sometimes I think job satisfaction is highest when I have nothing around to distract me from work. I believe this year will involving making some decisions, namely the grad school question. Will it give me direction to launch a *gasp* permanent career? Will it feel like a tech position, just two years long? Where the frell do I go? What can I do to aid the fight for natural world? Et cetera, et cetera. Still, 2007 was a thumbs-up year for me. *raises glass* Cheers to 2008.
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November 30th, 2007
11:32 pm - City streets are fine, so long as I'm on foot and not wheels
About 24 hours ago I saw that SleeplessEvil was online. "Gosh, it's been a while," thought I. Communication commenced. Then I called her so as to have a proper conversation. Then the following day I drove 2.5 hours after work to meet her in Boston, as she was there for the day for an interview. We wandered the park and had a chilly picnic on a big rock.
The trip was kind of a mad thing to do. Other people might be weirded out by the sudden appearance of an unrequested cheering squad, but with the amount of moving around both of us do for our jobs we have to seize the day when possible (I consider today seized and throttled). It's like Neptune and Pluto being close enough to high-five as they exchange orbits.
Actually, their last meeting didn't go so well...
Pluto: Yo, dude!
Neptune: I dunno if we should talk anymore, now that you're just some icy rock in the Kuiper belt.
Pluto: I can't believe you're buying into that reclassification crap. I'm a planet, dammit. I have a moon and everything.
Neptune: You probably just stole that from Uranus.
Pluto: ***rude comment concerning Uranus and Urmom***
Neptune: Perverted dwarf!
Pluto: Sizist bastard!
***incredibly rude comments***
What's with all the recent city exposure recently? Boston today, then NYC last weekend. Oh yeah, Thanksgiving weekend was a blast, since it involved shenanigans with former and current Cornellians, plus random encounters at Penn Station. There was lots of walking about, but I paid little attention to the Christmas displays and store fronts. I was too busy identifying the trees that lined the streets. Yes, any attempts to urbanize me will involve kicking and screaming. Especially kicking. Especially PantslessZen. Especially in certain places.
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October 31st, 2007
11:44 pm - Could you hit the rewind button of my life? I think I missed some.
Time, cruel friend, why do you fly so? For someone who spends so much of her time moving from place to place, I seem to generate a fair amount of inertia. Soon I'll be wrenching myself away from my whirlwind life in Ithaca. I could have written about the events of the past month individually and eloquently, but that would have required slowing down...
Singing with the chorus in the Twilight Concert (my second last Twilight)
Dancing in the lights of Masquerave, bedecked as Escher's Mobius II
Carving a pumpkin with the same toothy grin my dad always carved years ago
Birding on the Montezuma Wildlife Drive (Wheeeeeee there were Pintails and Shovelers and Ruddy Ducks and a Trumpeter Swan!!!)
Photographing trees (and climbing them) with PunNinja in the arboretum
Flipping around and around and around in a swivel harness
Performing a fight with someone I've never fought with before
Stars above my head
Discussing with SwordSquirrel how to end a fight... while performing the fight
Realizing that in the woods it goes from dim to dark very quickly
Cooking dinner at 11:30 pm, and lots of Dr. Who
Going dancing because PuzzleBraid brought me a swirly skirt to dance in
Three people + two beds = three people sleeping on the floor
Playing Boggle with my housemates in the creek bed by a campfire (that was earlier tonight)
It is time to move on; I can feel good about that. The job here has been a handy experience for me, and I'm excited for the next opportunity. The question is: do I seize the chance to come back? I could probably be happy in another spot, it just means taking more risks about the unknown. I keep flinging myself into the unknown, like a bobber on a fishing line, but I keep getting reeled back in to Ithaca. If I do return, I don't want it to be for the wrong reasons. I don't want the place that feels like home to become my rut. Yet if I wander, I can't take it all with me. It would require a very hefty duffle.
So... guess I will just take advantage of shiny things while I can. Business as usual.
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September 18th, 2007
01:53 am - This is the weekend. I will rejoice and cram it full.
I should not have been able to pull this weekend off. The lords of time and space looked and said "thou shalt not," and I said thhbbbbbbbt.
Chorus retreat was this weekend, and I did my part driving folks down to Vestal. It was strange being there; I never would have expected to be back in that church on retreat. Between Friday and Saturday we rehearsed 11-12 hours and did bondy activities with our fellow chorus members. I shared with the world how a cicada symphony is the most annoying sound that exists. Tucker provided numerous examples of why he is a phenomenal conductor to sing for. And we made cookies. When we sing freely we make amazing music, and I feel indeed fortunate to be part of the chorus for a ninth semester.
Come morning I performed in the first church service. After that I walked straight out the door and drove to Ithaca (changing into field clothes on the way), met up with folks from Herp Club and drove another hour to Steege Hill. It was beautiful weather and proved to be a snakey sort of day. My own modest haul was about:
10+ Red-backed Salamanders
3 Garter Snakes
2 American Toads
1 Ring-necked Snake
1 Red-bellied Snake
As a group we uncovered the species listed above, plus a Slimy Salamander and a Smooth Green Snake. Ooh, I haven't seen one of those beauties in a long while.
Singing and snaking? Sounds splendid.
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September 2nd, 2007
11:57 pm - So much for writing in August
I thought I found a masters project that would suit me well. I saw the posting and got really pumped... it was birds and forestry and through Oregon State and starting next fall. Brain says "Oh whee" and I emailed the prof right off, expressing my interest. Wait! September 2007 is... this year. They want a person right away. Oops. Option shot down.
*bang* Dweeeeeeeeeooooooothud.
At least it was shot down because I have plans for the next few months. The current job is not directly crittery... um, I measure dead logs. But I do get to be outside a fair bit, and I'm in Ithaca. ^_^ It's a land where you can swing swords, get delicious ice cream, and swim in a gorge in one afternoon. SwordSquirrel was in town, so we were busy last weekend. And then the next day was more swording and then performing with the chorus and glee club. It's like the old times of undergrad, but with a new cast of people. I even had to say good-bye to PuzzleBraid and GrillFratman.
Life is decent, except that the four year anniversary of personal D-Day is in a few days. But the family moves onward fairly well. I wish I could say the same for several of my friends who are struggling with their own trials of existence. I wish I could just wave my Fairy hacksaw-blade-wand and make things a little better for them. ...It's worth a shot. *wavewavewave*
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July 28th, 2007
03:25 am - Springfield Pet Shop: All our pets are flushable
Note to self: get outside more. If you find the right places, Delaware is not that bad. A visit to a state park earlier this week reminded me of evening walks back in Wisconsin. The air was thick - aka muggy - but not overly hot. There were meadows with skimming dragonflies, and the wooded edges had a decent number of birds. With all the Red-eyed Vireos, Gray Catbirds, Eastern Towhees, Acadian Flycatchers, and Indigo Buntings about, it was almost as if my feathered pals from Fort McCoy followed me home. No Cuckoos or Lark Sparrows though, blast and curses. We cannot have everything the ear desires. But I did have the thrill of hunting down an unfamiliar song and seeing a White-eyed Vireo.
After the walk we had a picnic and listened to an outdoor concert. As another Wisconsin throwback, it was a bluegrass group. I sang along to the tunes I knew and watched young humans dance wildly and run amok. I fear I am too old for such foolery, but I fought maturity long enough to climb some trees. From my vantage point I looked out at all the families enjoying music in a park on a warm summer night. It was so darn wholesome I could have choked on my apple pie... despite a noticeable paucity of pie.
No less wholesome, the Brother and I saw the Simpsons Movie tonight. After being a fan and follower of the 2D family for 18 of my 23 years of life, I tried to keep my expectations low. In truth, it was not a ground-breaking film, but it was funny. Damn funny. There was a plot and it held together and the gags flew faster than the Concord. The brother and I laughed pretty much throughout and left satisfied. I'm really glad that the two of us were in the same state for this event, since we've shared years of watching reruns, quizzing each other, and quoting the show at every opportunity. Once in a great while, things are as they should be.
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