pendraggin (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} pendraggin) wrote,@ 2008-04-10 03:05:00 |
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Inhale... and EXHALE!
This entry has been building for a long time. For starters, I shall reaffirm that I am a pretty chipper person, even in blogworld. The present life is quite awesome. Only a few more days of chasing ducks along the Connecticut shoreline (sniffle), but then it's off to the next adventure... which I am soooo not prepared for. Why not? Largely because of the rollercoaster known as the BATTLE FOR GRAD SCHOOL (with echo effect). I've probably had it easier than many, many people, but it is difficult to try to simultaneously juggle several potential research projects, potential advisors, and wishful-thinking funding. Over the past few months I've felt too overextended to properly focus on a given opportunity, yet I've needed to keep all my options open as things invariably fall through. I was wondering if this is normal fare for aspiring graduate students (and I'm only looking for a masters, sheeeesh) or if my discipline is just weird. So here is a summary of my rollercoaster ride, which I boarded last summer and I'm still stuck in the corkscrews.
Shoot emails to professors all over the country. Get a lot of silence and "sorry, no funding" but a few "you sound cool, we should keep in touch." Endangered prairie chickens in Texas through University of Wisconsin. Invasive frogs in Hawaii through Utah State. Brown Tree Snake control in Guam through Colorado State.
Go work in Ithaca, where my old advisor asks "Want to count birds in Costa Rica?" Hells yeah. Ask a ton of people what they think of returning to the alma mater for a masters. Investigate grants for a project that doesn't officially exist yet. Leave town for next job.
Randomly apply to a position at Central Michigan. Immediately get the offer. "Wow, getting into grad school is easy! I must be pretty cool. I can hold out for something a little better." I turn it down. Frantically apply to Utah, Colorado, Humboldt (California), and Cornell. Realize too late that the system takes time to work its magic. uhhhhhhhh
Write crappy fellowship proposal for Utah. Uh, no. DEAD END.
Learn that Colorado project might have funding issues. Things get very quiet. DEAD END.
Mum asks "What about University of Delaware?" No, sorry mum.
Visit Cornell to cross blades with Ringers new and old. Resume conversation about Costa Rica. Need $$$$ for me. Have an interview for a TAship. Heck, I'll write a grant. See, I'm game! I'm focused! Cornell is awesome!
Work on grant proposal for Costa Rica. Pretty manageable except the bit about how much $$$ I need and what I need it for. A shame that's the important bit. Press blindly onward.
Two emails from profs at Humboldt. Prof 1 says "Lots of projects, shoot me a proposal" Eeek, that's kinda intimidating. Prof 2 says "I have $$$ to chase birds in Jamaica. You seem like a great match. Interested? We'll get back to you next week." Hells yeah. But Cornell? California doesn't have Ringers.
Finish and submit Costa Rica grant proposal. Repeatedly poke advisor for necessary permit/letters. Hello? Apply for Cornell TAship. Agonize on how I will make decision between California and Cornell.
Not selected by Prof 2. Owww, rejection really hurts. No decision needed; pass the tissues. DEAD END.
Very well. Cornell is awesome backup plan! I'm game! I'm focused!
Grant not considered. Permit/Letter from Costa Rica representative never received. DEAD END.
TAship is last hope for Cornell. Can't afford Cornell without being paid.
Email from Humboldt Prof 1. "Still have lots of projects. Let's chat." We talk about California birdies. Nifty ideas abound! Awesome! No $$$$ available yet for a project or my studentness. Decisions for Cornell TAship ($$$$ for studentness) to be made next week.
Write a project proposal for Hum Prof 1.
It's been nearly a year of preparing for graduate school. Despite my experiences, education, and enthusiasm, there is a distinct possibility that I will have nothing, nothing, to show for it. ...what then?
Today I got the offer from Humboldt. WHEEEEEE!!!!...!!!! It's a significant ego-boost. I am elated-- I just checked out a room on Cloud Nine! But I am still left wondering what to do, because I honestly do not know what I want. I guess I'm stalling for one more DEAD END. I want the novelty of a new school and the comfort of the alma mater. I want the convenience of an established study site and the adventure of a foreign country. I do not want hormones to influence my decision, but I don't want to piss them off. I want swords again. I never want to leave Ithaca. I never want to settle down.
Whew.
This entry has been building for a long time. For starters, I shall reaffirm that I am a pretty chipper person, even in blogworld. The present life is quite awesome. Only a few more days of chasing ducks along the Connecticut shoreline (sniffle), but then it's off to the next adventure... which I am soooo not prepared for. Why not? Largely because of the rollercoaster known as the BATTLE FOR GRAD SCHOOL (with echo effect). I've probably had it easier than many, many people, but it is difficult to try to simultaneously juggle several potential research projects, potential advisors, and wishful-thinking funding. Over the past few months I've felt too overextended to properly focus on a given opportunity, yet I've needed to keep all my options open as things invariably fall through. I was wondering if this is normal fare for aspiring graduate students (and I'm only looking for a masters, sheeeesh) or if my discipline is just weird. So here is a summary of my rollercoaster ride, which I boarded last summer and I'm still stuck in the corkscrews.
Shoot emails to professors all over the country. Get a lot of silence and "sorry, no funding" but a few "you sound cool, we should keep in touch." Endangered prairie chickens in Texas through University of Wisconsin. Invasive frogs in Hawaii through Utah State. Brown Tree Snake control in Guam through Colorado State.
Go work in Ithaca, where my old advisor asks "Want to count birds in Costa Rica?" Hells yeah. Ask a ton of people what they think of returning to the alma mater for a masters. Investigate grants for a project that doesn't officially exist yet. Leave town for next job.
Randomly apply to a position at Central Michigan. Immediately get the offer. "Wow, getting into grad school is easy! I must be pretty cool. I can hold out for something a little better." I turn it down. Frantically apply to Utah, Colorado, Humboldt (California), and Cornell. Realize too late that the system takes time to work its magic. uhhhhhhhh
Write crappy fellowship proposal for Utah. Uh, no. DEAD END.
Learn that Colorado project might have funding issues. Things get very quiet. DEAD END.
Mum asks "What about University of Delaware?" No, sorry mum.
Visit Cornell to cross blades with Ringers new and old. Resume conversation about Costa Rica. Need $$$$ for me. Have an interview for a TAship. Heck, I'll write a grant. See, I'm game! I'm focused! Cornell is awesome!
Work on grant proposal for Costa Rica. Pretty manageable except the bit about how much $$$ I need and what I need it for. A shame that's the important bit. Press blindly onward.
Two emails from profs at Humboldt. Prof 1 says "Lots of projects, shoot me a proposal" Eeek, that's kinda intimidating. Prof 2 says "I have $$$ to chase birds in Jamaica. You seem like a great match. Interested? We'll get back to you next week." Hells yeah. But Cornell? California doesn't have Ringers.
Finish and submit Costa Rica grant proposal. Repeatedly poke advisor for necessary permit/letters. Hello? Apply for Cornell TAship. Agonize on how I will make decision between California and Cornell.
Not selected by Prof 2. Owww, rejection really hurts. No decision needed; pass the tissues. DEAD END.
Very well. Cornell is awesome backup plan! I'm game! I'm focused!
Grant not considered. Permit/Letter from Costa Rica representative never received. DEAD END.
TAship is last hope for Cornell. Can't afford Cornell without being paid.
Email from Humboldt Prof 1. "Still have lots of projects. Let's chat." We talk about California birdies. Nifty ideas abound! Awesome! No $$$$ available yet for a project or my studentness. Decisions for Cornell TAship ($$$$ for studentness) to be made next week.
Write a project proposal for Hum Prof 1.
It's been nearly a year of preparing for graduate school. Despite my experiences, education, and enthusiasm, there is a distinct possibility that I will have nothing, nothing, to show for it. ...what then?
Today I got the offer from Humboldt. WHEEEEEE!!!!...!!!! It's a significant ego-boost. I am elated-- I just checked out a room on Cloud Nine! But I am still left wondering what to do, because I honestly do not know what I want. I guess I'm stalling for one more DEAD END. I want the novelty of a new school and the comfort of the alma mater. I want the convenience of an established study site and the adventure of a foreign country. I do not want hormones to influence my decision, but I don't want to piss them off. I want swords again. I never want to leave Ithaca. I never want to settle down.
Whew.
